In the Spanish language there are two ways ‘To Be’ – use the verb ‘Ser’ it tells us what you are in essence. Use the verb ‘Estar’ and you are talking about something mutable.
This is the most thrilling part of learning Spanish – the discovery of how to use these verbs, and when to exchange one for the other. And it’s so odd to the English ear! How can you be something in essence, but then speak in the past or future tense? My friends and teachers spent time explaining it to me, but I preferred not to listen – when a concept is that funny, why ruin it with explanations?
(My idea) of a joke was to say to Spanish people ‘I am a train station’ using the verb ‘Ser’ – ‘To Be; in essence’ – To be, in essence, a train station! Ha! I enjoyed the idea more than anyone else ever did, and I’m stubborn enough to continue in the face of failure; so though the joke wore thin, the idea for ‘I Am (defined by the essential quality of) A Train Station’ grew.
The play was written quickly, over three days, and given a platform by Factoria de Fuegos in the Basque capital city Vitoria-Gasteiz. I put into the text a pineapple (because they look funny on a stage) a hot, fresh pizza (which was shared between the audience) and the headless corpse of Mickey Mouse (I spiked the head on a sharp stick and paraded it around the city as a way to advertise the show. Except I didn’t do that.)
Those are the elements that made ‘I Am A Train Station’. But what the text suggests, what it tries to express as its central image is that, in your life, you are not on a train being taken on a journey but you are the station waiting for something to arrive.
Irate audience members have spoken to me about this theory after seeing the show, and told me I am completely and utterly wrong. That if they stood still and let life come to them, nothing would ever get done. ‘I Am A Train Station’ seemed to hit a nerve with some people, and I would have to explain that as the writer I didn’t necessarily agree with the idea, it’s just an idea I liked.
A year on from the show then, and what else do I remember…? I remember how Ismael de la Hoz listened to his audience and performed the show beautifully. How Virginia Fernandez was wonderfully patient with me as she made the translation. How I was happy, because… because we had a pineapple on the stage dammit and that is funny…. it is. I insist upon it!
I was asked by Oystein and Philip, those bright, ever generous and open-minded directors of Imploding Fictions, to tell you about ‘I Am A Train Station’. I have fulfilled that obligation. So…
… you have two options now. If you’re bored with reading this I offer you a link to some music. Go on, if you want to, take it…
Option two, for those of you who wish to stay, is to take a leap. It’s a small leap, towards the title of this text – ‘Where’s My Gorilla?’ – but it does require some effort because the next part is different to what has gone before.
If you’re ready and going to join me… Jump!
I went to a dress rehearsal for a pantomime last week. About midway through the first half the curtains opened on a new scene; a scene in a jungle, parrots cawing, drums beating faintly in the distance.
A moment, the stage is empty.
And then something wonderful happened.
Another moment passed and the stage stayed empty!
Those of us in the audience held our breath, understood collectively that something was wrong. We waited waited waited…
We watched this empty stage, for what
Felt like an age
We were witness to a pantomime
Turning, before our very eyes
Into an existentialist tragedy
Oh yes we were.
Until
The director shouted
From the back of the room
‘Where’s My Gorilla?’
Where’s my gorilla?
I would love to know the answer.
And that is it. I didn’t do anything… I sat, and I waited, and life… arrived… the gorilla didn’t, but life did.
‘Where’s my gorilla?’ has become my favourite mantra. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, with too much to do, I just ask –
‘Where’s my gorilla?’ –
and wait. Just wait for it.
And here is the conclusion to this text; ‘I Am A Train Station’ could easily have been called ‘Where Is My Gorilla?’ Or even ‘Spring Arrives When Winter Is Over;’ or even ‘If Given Adequate Heat, A Watched Pot Will Eventually Boil.’ The title is unimportant; it is the central image that matters. That life unfolds and sometimes, it is best to be patient, keep your eyes open, and wait.
If you think this idea is worth a try, go, try it. If not, forget about it and go back to the musical option I gave you above… because you should at least take five…
- Darren Lerigo, playwright and collaborator of Imploding Fictions
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I am a train station
Performance (30 mins)
Premiered at Factoria de Fuegos Noche Scratxe, february 2010
Written and directed by Darren Lerigo
Performed by Ismael de la Hoz
Spanish translation by Virginia Fernandez